I Stepped on a Lego

I stepped on a Lego earlier today


Lego pain is sneaky

At first, you don’t feel it

It seems to take a moment to register

Then…

POW! The sharp sensation

like your foot is being sliced

or stung by a jellyfish.

Eyes begin to water

A shout wells up in your throat

You fight, oh you fight, but you just can’t help it!

“KIDS! GET DOWN HERE NOW!”

Then they arrive, timid and meek

knowing by the tone of your voice

That there is trouble coming.

You look at them, not seeing children

but vicious, foot torturing terrorists.

You slowly bend down and pick up the offending Lego,

with a maniacal smile you stand back up

Limping, blood dripping from the rip on your foot

you hobble over to the nearest chair.

“Which of YOU left out the Lego's?”

Eyes dart from child to child

knowing they will all deny the atrocity

you decide to punish them all.

You consider laying out a line of Legos

and making them walk across it

Like one of those coal walking ritual things

“Let’s see how you like it!” runs through your mind

In light of the possible legal ramifications

You decide to send them all to the couch with a book

while you vacuum up the left out pieces in front of them.

You are sure that you will need surgery to recover

A splint, a cast, stitches…

Then the youngest of the perpetrators toddles over

“Mommy, you hurt? I kiss it for you. You can have my spiderman bandaid”

Sigh, punishments dealt,

Snuggle on the couch

“If you ever leave your legos out again, I will throw EVERY ONE OF THEM AWAY”.

Then smother them in kisses and go grab some shoes.