Before I get started, here is a random image to satisfy Anna's request that all my blog posts comes with pictures.
|It is a random picture of a puppy.|
To the person that is concerned with my oldest child's hair:
I say this to you: Me too. I look at my oldest daughter who is trying to grow up - without my consent, by the way - and see her try her own things with her clothes, her nails, and yes, her hair. I understand your concern for it is also my concern. I know you hate to see it looking unkempt, but guess what? So do I. I appreciate you asking if you could take over "doing her hair" and I will allow you to, because I know that my child can benefit from being around you and your children and that you love her - her hair is truly a secondary reason to my agreeing to allow her to be at your house every other Friday. I hope that you are consistent with what you have asked and that you don't let her down. So many people have let her down, myself not excluded. But please understand, she could be bald and still be stunning.
To the person that is concerned about my two 2nd grader's reading ability:
I say this to you: Me too. I am their mother and their teacher. To me, those duties are not separate. They are one and the same. As their mother, I teach them about life and that includes the "three R's". I get that you care for my kids and as a public school teacher, you can see that they are "behind" in their reading ability. Please understand this: I spent my son's kindergarten year not knowing if he was going to live and his first grade year not knowing how he was going to live. We are spending this year healing from that trauma and the ongoing questions we have have that have not been answered about why he is sick. We are also trying to keep him awake. Do you know he sleeps any where from 14 to 18 hours a day and when he is awake, oftentimes he feels bad? Feel free to help me devise a strategy about how to get him and my daughter "caught up" to where you feel like they need to be. I don't like that they are behind either and I can promise you that I am doing everything I can to to get them both "caught up" to where people like you think they should be.
To the both of you: I know this sounds harsh and I really don't mean it to be, I just don't know of any other way to say these things. I know beyond a doubt that both of you are approaching me out of a caring heart, but your caring is burdensome as it just applies more pressure to me and my life and honestly, I am doing all I can. I am glad for your offer of help, truly I am. But, please don't give me more to do. Please just accept that there are things you don't know about and therefore can not understand. If you want to know, ask and I will be glad to have you over for coffee.
I hope and pray that you hear my heart on this. You are not helping unless you are doing. You are not helping if you are giving me more to do in an already full day. You are not helping if you are weighing me down with expectations. I can promise you, I expect way more of myself than you can possibly know.
I do appreciate your concerns and I share them.