Monday, July 30, 2012

Starting to Say Goodbye

I sold the formal dining room table today. We won't have space for it in the new house and needed the cash to pay for some of the small expenses that pop up when you build. As I sat in my empty formal dining room I had my first real emotional response to our big move, I cried.

You need to know that I am not a "things" person. That is, I don't get emotionally attached to things. I can easily purge and I don't feel the need to keep every thing my children have touched. Things are easily replaced and other than a few extra special items such as a few baby clothes (and by few I mean 2 maybe 3 items) and pictures, I am not truly attached to things. This is why my reaction surprises me so much. But as I sat there on a chair, which is also being sold, staring into the empty space that used to be filled with the dining table, I was suddenly overwhelmed with memories. We have only been in this house for 3 years, yet I was shocked at how many wonderful memories we had already made. While none of my children were born here, and in fact Brianna has moved 3 times in her 8 years, they did so some "growing up" here. Maybe the fact that I spend such an unusually large amount of time with my children has made the memories collect faster, maybe this move is different because instead of moving two streets over we are moving clear out of the city, maybe I have associated this house with being where my last baby learned to crawl, walk, talk, and is now a nearly 4 year old little boy, maybe I am having a fight with my vanity and am wondering if maybe I do really want a big fancy house. I don't know at the moment.

I remember hosting a House Party for Wii Just Dance. I will spare you the photos. I am sure my friends appreciate that too. Even as I type this the scene playing in my head makes me laugh out loud. I remember family holidays with my house packed with people, countdowns to Disney, fish frys, Grandma Shirley visiting from England,  summer days spent on the water slide outside, the two freak winters where we got a foot of snow and we spent hours outside building a snowman that a teen decided to decapitate.  I remember how excited I was when my husband painted our school room and when Brianna and Keira learned to ride their bikes on our street. I remember making fairy houses along the walking trail and surprise trips to the community park. I remember...

 Right now it is all becoming real and during random moments it seems to all catch up with me. But that is ok because I know this is right. I know this is where we are being led and I know that the new house will offer us memories and experiences and that one day I will be able to call it home.

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1 comment:

Rachel E. said...

I know it is hard, but you will be able to do it...God is in this. He will give you courage and strength. There is excitement at both the beginning and the end.