Fruitful Labor

  I am writing this post not to give advice. In fact, I feel the least qualified to give you advice right now. Rather, I write to confess and hold myself accountable to the standard to which I believe God holds me. I didn't write this with grand intentions of it being read, so it is my unedited pouring out of my heart and is a bit wordy.


  I have reached the point of homeschooling at which I no longer look forward and see no end. My youngest is 8 and while that seems to be still early, having two children enter young adulthood has given me perspective on how little time I actually have left to be the primary influence in my children's lives. In 5 years, I will graduate my daughters and God willing send them off to college. FIVE years. You know what that means? It means I have fewer years left with them than have passed with them. We are well over the half-way mark. They are no longer young children. We have entered the "train them to be adults" stage. In five years, as my girls enter independence, my son will then be entering young adulthood.

   Even with at least ten to go with my son, the dynamics of his sisters being done with school will change my season in an exceptional way. In this very season, I see my own "freedom" slowly increasing. My children no longer need me to make breakfast or lunch for them. They are developing their own interests and desire more and more to express their freedom in spending time away from home. My kids have Starbucks get to-gethers. STARBUCKS GET-TOGETHERS. Seriously, I drop them off and they drink smoothies and talk girl stuff with friends. My son gets out of the car at the park and runs off to play while I am able to sit and read my Bible or listen to the radio. Gone are the days of me following him around the playground because he wanted me to watch all of his cool tricks. If not for the legal ramifications I would feel no fear in leaving him there to play by himself for an hour or so.

  This is a season of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Of realizing just how quickly time passes. Of meditating on how "life is a vapor that quickly passes away". It has also been a difficult time for me, but not in the way you would expect. You see, I have no sadness at all over my children growing up. Not because I didn't love them being little, or because I don't love them now. It is rather because I have come to terms with the fact that God did not mean for me to keep them forever. Never were these children mine to cling on to. In fact, we are told to "raise up" our children and I am perfectly content to know that soon, I will no longer carry the responsibility of their every need and that my days will no longer be focused on their spiritual and academic training. Of course, I don't abdicate it completely when they move out, nor do I plan to kick them out the day they turn 18, but even if they stick around, they will for the most part, be solely responsible for their own choices.

  So where is my difficulty? Contentedness, perseverance, faithfulness, pride, idolatry, and obedience. Wow, I am a worse sinner than I realized. Isn't that always the case? I sit here between two seasons realizing that I am not meant to bear the weight of child-raising forever, but also realizing how deeply I allowed my family to become an idol which leaves me grasping for identity outside of them. Let's not kid ourselves. As homeschool parents we are with our children nearly 24 hours a day in their younger years and only slightly less as they grow older and start doing their own thing. Multiply that by 18 years (minimum) and that's a lot of hours. To continue that, we are constantly cooking, cleaning, teaching, refereeing, bathing, changing, disciplining, and training. From a worldly perspective it is a tireless and thankless job and it is very easy to take on the perspective of the world. It is very easy to feel as if we deserve more than what we are getting and it is very easy to mask that discontentment in piousness. "Oh, how I wish I could do more ministry!", Oh, how I wish I could go to more Bible studies!", "If I didn't have to be at home all the time I could be so much more effective for Christ!". If only becomes our battle cry and we settle into discontentment and even resentment, going through motions, but completely forgetting our identity and joy is in Christ not in the activities we are doing ,even if they are "for Him". And so the idol of "get my children to grow up so I can focus on me centered activities that I have convinced myself are better than the calling God has given me now", grows. In the process of this growth we become weary and forgetful of what faithfulness and obedience actually is. In my case, I came very close to disconnecting and just doing what I needed to do until it was over. What a rotten way to raise children.

  To top this off, young adults have a way of giving you a major reality check. They ask questions they never would have considered as a child and you come face to face with the reality of sending them out into our post-modern-technology-dominated world. They trade physically draining you to mentally draining you. Perhaps, what is most important though, is that they remind you that faith is not absorbed by osmosis. You must look at your own faith and come to terms with whether you really trust that God is sovereign and you must look at your view of how His sovereignty works in your child's salvation. Finally, you must recognize that you cannot save or unsave your child no matter how miserably you failed or gloriously you succeeded in being a "good" parent.

 This has been a hard lesson for me. Don't get me wrong, my children show encouraging fruits of true saving faith, and my hope is no longer in my ability to force my faith on them, but up until their teen years I genuinely took it for granted that they were believers. Their good, but extremely challenging questions were eye opening and humbling to say the least. I had set myself up as their Holy Spirit, had set the criteria for salvation, and had judged them saved. Pretty arrogant, huh? I had literally made myself God and the result of this was a crashing of my world when I realized exactly how not God I am. But Praise be to the One True King that the result of my crash has been to, albeit feebly, hand my children over to the actual Giver of Life. Let me tell you, while my flesh found the experience terrifying, (I was physically ill for over a month), my spirit has found such peace that I would not be able to find the words to blog it. My Father has no doubt tested my faith and brought to light many sins I was not dealing with. He has reassured me of my own salvation as I had no where else to run but to Him and he has given me a boldness to share my struggles that has been met with an answer to prayer in the form of several Godly women I have come to confide in. The faithfulness of the Father during these last few months has brought me to tears more than once. Especially, considering how flaky I can be.





  Lest I sound like my sins have been completely conquered in the last 3 months, let me talk reality. Daily, I struggle with the desire to expend the mental energy it takes to have 2 young adults in my house for any amount of time, much-less the amount of time they spend here as homeschoolers. Daily, I have found myself fighting not to just stack their books in front of them, grab the 8 year old and sit at the park all day. Daily, I have to confess pride, discontentedness, lack of faith, and a number of other selfish sins. At this moment I find it physically uncomfortable to have my children spend any large amount of time in my personal space. Something that is a big deal in our home as we have always been very physically affectionate in our home. I am struggling not to look too far ahead, but also being joyful in the coming season. Some days I have to sneak off to pray multiple times, some days I read scripture, know what the application to my life should be and then completely get it wrong all day long. Some days I still judge my success over my perceptions of what my children should look like in my own eyes. Most days I forget, even if only for a short time, that my job is obedience and faithfulness. Sanctification is slow and painful, but the Lord is faithful and I believe the promise of Paul in Philippians that "He will bring it to completion" and I am grateful, that "where sin does abound, grace abounds that much more".

  I am fighting to finish strong and to place my expectations solely in the promises of the Father and the work of Jesus by the power the Holy Spirit. One day my season will change and I believe that God will give me more freedom in what I choose to do for His Glory, but for now my calling is my children and it is my greatest desire to prove my love for my God by loving my children and being obedient to that call that my labor may be fruitful.

  On a practical note, I have been studying Philippians in depth. I believe whole heartedly that the Spirit providentially led me to scripture that is primarily about being content and joyful. If you are struggling, I strongly suggest spending sometime meditating on Philippians.

-Anna

Update from the Molders

It has been forever since I have written a blog. I just petered out. It became work. So, now that I have had a nice long break here I am back at it!

Of course, in those two years life moved on. Boy did it. We moved back to town. Two years in the country taught me that things are much more romantic on paper than they are in real life sometimes. There were good things about it that I am glad we experienced. Over all, we are back home.

My daughter has "retired" from gymnastics. This in itself was a HUGE change for us. It was time though and we are slowly learning to live without it. She misses it more than I do.

My son started formally schooling and has learned to read. My last child is reading. I will never teach another one of my children to read. That is bitter sweet.

My oldest will be in Jr.High this year. For real. Which brings me to why I felt inspired to pick up my virtual pencil and start writing my thoughts down again. I need to be able to get my thoughts out without annoying those around me.

I suppose the best place to start would be our plans for this year. I have several friends who have been attending Classical Conversations the past few years. In all honesty, I have never been that drawn to it until I read about the Challenge level. On paper it looks fantastic and what I hope my oldest will gain from it, is more of the supplemental aspects of being able to discuss in group settings than for it to be our core so I think it is worth a try. Since my oldest will already be there, the other two will also attend. It just makes sense. I reserve my judgment on the Fundamental levels until I see our campus in action. I am cautiously optimistic though.

There is also a second co-op (I KNOW. I am nuts.) that we will be participating in. This is one of those co-ops that offers everything and is stupid hard to get into. In fact, we were originally denied but were offered a space about two days before all of the fees were due. That was fun. We are going to use it mostly for fun classes. My oldest is taking a cooking class, the middle and youngest is taking some sort of science class with hands on stuff. We are only tied into it on a month to month basis, unlike CC, so if it doesn't work all we really lost was our deposit and that month's tuition.

Both of the girls are doing First Lego League. This has been a fantastic experience for them. I highly recommend looking into it if your child is interested in robotics. It has been not only a great experience from the robotics, but also from having to work together to problem solve in a group setting. As soon as Luke is old enough he will definitely be joining in.

Brianna was accepted into the Jr. Zookeeper program at our local zoo. It was quite an intense process as she had to interview, present a speech and prove she really wanted the position. She was so very well prepared when we went in though and I could not have been prouder.

Considering that Brianna will have a large work load with CC I want to be very careful about what we do outside of that so I plan on working more around their interests this year while still getting in the basics. Brianna will start Teaching Textbooks since she really needs to take her math a little bit slower. Keira will continue on with Christian Light Education. Her math needs are much more intense since she intends on going into an engineering field. Luke will do TT because at the moment he just needs the basics.

There you go. It wasn't that interesting, but it is a start. See you next time!

Emily Grace - Forever Loved, Missed for a Short While

Emily Grace
Forever Loved

Her name is Emily Grace and she lived. She was a tiny little human. Emily was growing tiny fingernails and the blondest eyebrows. She was hearing her world through her mother’s womb for the first time. She probably jumped in surprise when her sisters screeched with delight when they played. She was gaining weight, length, and fingerprints. She was mastering the fantastic skills of moving her eyes back and forth under her still sealed eyelids and using her mouth to practice sucking. She moved and played and snuggled into her mom. 

 And then something happened and Emily left the confines of her mother’s body and her soul entered into a glorious place. A place where she will know peace and contentment. A place of hope and beauty. A place to wait for that day when she gets her new body and her parents, siblings and family will join her. For her mother, father and all the rest of her family, this was a tragedy. For her, it was a homecoming. 

When my sister handed her to me for the first time, I could not believe how teeny tiny she was. A whopping 5 ¾ inches long and 4.3 ounces and carefully wrapped in a receiving blanket. I loved her the moment I heard my sister was pregnant with her, and I loved her even more after I laid eyes on her. Her tiny baby hands and sweet little baby toes, her little blond eyebrows and broad shoulders are etched into my memory. As her Aunt Amy said, “She had ears that were made for earrings.” She was so small and so light, I was afraid I would drop her. 

 I remember trying not to be a hysterical mess and thinking I needed to stop crying. I wanted to be strong for her mom, my precious sister. But the more I thought of how I would miss her, miss seeing her grow up, miss seeing if she got my sister’s sweet spirit and her father’s conscientiousness, the more I wept. 

I thought of how her brothers and sisters would never on earth be able to play with her, to sing to her, or to tell her she was getting on their last nerve and I cried some more. I nearly cried that horrible ugly cry when I thought of her parents and their deep, wounding grief. We, Emily’s family, will miss her and think about her and look forward to meeting her again in Heaven. 

Emily was more than a “late miscarriage”. Emily Grace, even though small, was her mother’s baby. She lived and is cherished and loved. October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day As you go about your day, remember those precious lives that were gone too soon and the families that desperately wanted and loved them. 

 

This World is Not Our Home

This is a guest post from my friend, Tami Minor.

I don't expect nonChristians to base their lives on Christian principles. Why would they seek to honor a God they don't know, don't understand, or have outright rejected? So, it doesn't surprise me at all if a nonChristian's behavior is in contradiction to the Bible. I am always disappointed though when a Christian's behavior contradicts Biblical principles, especially when that Christian is me.

Many times over the years, my children would witness or hear of different behaviors and ask me why the people involved behaved that way. "Why do they dress so immodestly, or speak so unbecomingly? Why do they do drugs or get drunk? Why do they commit adultery, or have abortions, or murder, or steal?" I always say ,"Because they don't know the Lord. Because they aren't walking with God... or because they aren't Christians." 

NonChristians have their own morality based on what they think or feel or based on another religion altogether. A Christian's morality is based on the Bible. As Christians, we believe that disobedience to God is sin. The truth is, my worst sins occurred after I became a Christian. So daily, I go to the cross of my Lord and seek forgiveness. I desire to live rightly, and in obedience to the Bible.... one hymn refers to this concept as "absolute sway." I strive to do this. 

Do I wish the world didn't perceive Christians as backward, misinformed, or foolish? Sure, I do, but the Bible says to expect that. Do I wish that Christians weren't beheaded or otherwise persecuted for their faith? Of course, I do, but Jesus taught us not to be caught off guard by the hatred of this world. Do I wish, really truly wish, that the community in which I live, even the state, the country, the world was predominantly Christian and that my children could grow up that way, with predominantly Christian influences on tv, on the internet, at the movies, on billboards, on the news, in schools, everywhere? Of course I do, but I do not expect it. Christian behavior is about Christ. I admit I like the idea of the security of living inside a Christian bubble. 

But Jesus tells us to take Him outside. I am not an effective witness. But He is an effective God. If the world behaves in a worldly way, it is completely in line with its nature. I am supposed to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit. Frequently, because of my beliefs, people I love will be on one side of an issue and I am on the opposite side. And strangely enough, it wasn't about sides at all for me. But if an earthquake splits your home, your neighborhood, or your country down the middle, people are going to fall on one side or the other. I am just attempting to live rightly and to honor God with that attempt. 

Can we honor God and love others? I don't think we can honor God unless we love others. Can we honor God without obedience. No, we can't. So sometimes, my children, ask me why Christians behave badly. "Why do they dress so immodestly, or speak unbecomingly, etc etc." I tell them that sadly, Christians aren't always obedient, but that God has made provision for that...that if we will turn from our disobedience, He will forgive us...that being Christians doesn't make us perfect, but that it daily perfects us. Christians are peculiar. Not because they seek to look different, but because following a scriptural mandate for behavior makes them look different. 

If you are a nonChristian, this is your world. I am just passing through.

A Day in the Mind of an Extrovert

7am- wake up thinking "wow, I am sure glad I have no where to go today after being so busy the last few days"

7:03am- I AM SO BORED AND LONELY! I wonder what we can do today to get out of the house?
7:04am- update Facebook status
7:06am- Check status to see if anyone has replied. Decide that I should give it a few more minutes
7:08am- Still no replies. Did I make everyone angry? Maybe it just wasn't funny enough. Change status to something funny.
7:10am- Check status for replies. 1 like but no replies. What is wrong with me today?! Message friend 1 with my entire plan for the day.
7:15- friend still hasn't replied so message friend 2 with the same information and head off to get ready.
7:15-9:00am- Homeschooling requires me to spend some time not waiting on FB replies, but I spend the entire time wondering how many likes and responses I will find when I get back on.
9:30am and friend 1 still hasn't replied. Why is she mad at me? Think, think, think, what have I done or said? Ohh my goodness. The other night when we were out I said I didn't like onions. Maybe she thinks that because I don't like onions and she does that I don't like her. STUPID. How could I not have thought of that before I said it?!
9:31am Text friend 1 a veiled joke about onions to see if she is mad at me. Friend replies with LOL and tells me she is at the doctors office. Pretty sure she is lying and is really just hiding from me.
10:00am-as long as friend 2 will tolerate it, I "drive by Facebook" with her. At least I still have 1 friend in this lonely cruel world.
10:30am- See pictures of friend at doctors office with her sick child and realize she may have been telling the truth. Text soon after inviting us to a play date confirms she is not angry. Feeling stupid that I thought my friend was actually angry with me over onions.
11:00am- I have got to get out of this house! I am going to go crazy with this isolation. I would give a pound of flesh just to be near someone, anyone. I would even consider a trip to Walmart! Unfortunately, homeschooling is still calling so I spend the next 3 hours "drive by Facebooking". At least a few people have finally responded on my status. I reply within seconds. They make fun of me for Facebook stalking.
1:00pm- I am literally drained from being alone. I love my kids, but they don't fill my socialization cup. I am mentally and physically exhausted.
3:00pm- Finally, it is time to leave the house. All I am about to do for the next 5 hours is sit, but as long as I am near someone I don't care.
5:00pm- We are at my daughter's gymnastics practice. I sit and where it isn't too impolite, I interject or strike up conversations with strangers around me.
9:30pm- Come home and regret having talked a perfect strangers ear off. Pretty sure she didn't need to know the details of how my first child entered the world. Assume that they will purposely avoid me from now on.


I am pretty sure anyone not an extrovert is reading this as if I was speaking a foreign language. I cannot explain what happens in my brain during the day. I cannot explain why when I do not get an instant response I assume that someone is angry with me. That is almost never the case and the reasons I come up with for the pretend anger are almost always ridiculous to the point of being stupid. I cannot explain how being alone tires me so much, and even depresses me. All I know is that I am not trying to be annoying. I am not trying to be nosy or rude. I am not trying to not give you a chance to talk. When I sit at home by myself it is boiling inside of me and when I finally get somewhere I can speak it explodes. We extroverts have to work hard to be sure we are practicing some self-control, but we definitely appreciate the grace our introverted friends give us when we go a bit over the top!

Homeschooling Confession

I am probably getting kicked out of the homeschool club for this one.

Confession: I hate reading out loud. I hate the way my voice grows weak and feels tired. I hate the work behind it only to have to work to keep the kids' attention.
I am an excellent read to myselfer.

But I am a homeschool mom. I am pretty sure I am supposed to love to read out loud. I have skated by with audio books (Story of the World on audio - For The Win!) and audio books from the library.  If Apologia put their science books on audio, I would probably be farther than lesson four after working on it for two years. And no,  I am not kidding.  We just wrapped up chapter four.  I even got the audio for First Language Lessons for the Well Trained Mind.

Unfortunately,  my 6 year will not cooperate in my read aloud avoidance. She is an excellent reader but she wants to sit on my lap and give me things to read to her. Because she is the baby and really cute, she can normally talk me in to it.

She has done it enough that recently the children got done listening before I got done reading. I found myself liking it.

Now, I am not promising to like it again, and I am not promising to actually finish "The Wind in the Willows" but it does at least seem possible!

It just goes to back up what I tell the kids,  with enough practice, you can do pretty much anything.

When Adoption isn't Wonderful

Growing up, I wanted to be a mother. I did not desire to do anything else but be a wife and mom. I got married at age 21 and one year later my husband and I were told children would not be a part of our future unless we tried some expensive things, and even then it was not a guarantee. I grieved that. I grieved the loss of my fertility, the loss of my childhood dream, the loss of all the children I wanted and would not have. People asked us, "Why don't you just adopt?" Don't say that, by the way, to someone who is infertile. It is rude, unkind, and only demonstrates a lack of knowledge and empathy for their heartache.

Why did we not "just adopt". It sounded so simple, find a kid who needs a home, fill out a few forms, and voila! Instant family. There are so many children available and waiting for a family. Sure they may have some issues, but all kids have issues. With enough love and stability and consistency, everything will work out and be fine. You will all be grateful for one another.

After my husband and I were married 7 years, we decided to pursue foster parenting. We were placed with over 23 children in the 4 years we were foster parents. It was an amazing time that really taught me a lot. Two of those children we would eventually adopt. They were 5 and 10 months when we got them. You would think, well I thought, that if you got a child young like they were, then everything would be okay and eventually adjustments would be made and everything would be awesome.

You know that lady in the news that sent her kid back to Russia with a note pinned to him? I am not saying that was the right thing to do, but I know how she got to that point.

I know how it is to raise a child that refuses to do a thing that she is told, unless she can clearly see how it will benefit her, and even then it is questionable.

I know how it is to have a child yell at you because you expect them to do something as silly as their homework or clean up after themselves.

I know how it is to be slightly afraid to go to sleep at night because you really don't know what is going to happen when you are sleeping.

I know how it is to wake up mad before the day even starts. It is an anger that pervades your entire being and you can't talk yourself out of it and it doesn't wear off and fade away with time.

I know how it is to be tired. I am not talking about physical tiredness, although that is a part of it, I am talking about a mental and emotional tiredness that rivals the tiredness of someone who hasn't slept in three days. There is an exhaustion that can not be contained and it bleeds into every part of your life.

I know how it is to live with someone who makes you question your sanity.

I know how it is to live with a child that doesn't just lie, but is incapable of telling the truth.

I know how it is question and wonder at motives behind every good deed because you know you are being manipulated in some way or are being set up to be manipulated.

I know how it is to have more therapy appointments than you know how to juggle and then be told that those therapy appointments are going to happen *daily*.

I know how it is to question how you can give another dollar, another second of your time, another ounce of energy and more of your heart towards a cause that seems to be lost.

I know how it is to know that no matter how desperately you want to fix someone, that there is nothing you can do, because that child doesn't see the problem in themselves, only their circumstances, and therefore they only choose to try to control their circumstances rather than themselves.

I know how it is to have guilt nearly eat you up because, somehow or another, this has got to be your fault. I am the mom, the fixer of dinner, boo boos and life in general. I should be able to fix this. Why can I not fix this?

I wish I knew what to say to those parents that are engaged in this same struggle. I only know to say that I am praying for myself, my family and my fellow adoptive parents. I am regularly crying out to God on our behalfs for mercy and for peace.

I am praying for healing for my child, who has been hurt with severe hurts by the birth family that was supposed to love her and protect her.

When adoption is good, it is very good. When it is hard, it is very hard. For some people, it is always hard and everyday is a trial. It is hard to be reminded *everyday* that you are not enough. For some people it is a reminder that no matter how much you want to love and help and show God's mercy and grace, that you are not God.

Thankfully, I know who God is. I know that He is capable of healing my broken, hurting child. I know that He is the restorer of relationships and righteousness and the healer of all hurts. I know that He authors forgiveness and He alone digs up roots of bitterness. Even though I want Him to do all this now, I know He will do this in His time for willing souls. I pray for that willingness for me and my child.

Homeschool Myth - Homeschooled Kids are Weird and Can't Relate to Others

I recently had a discussion about homeschooling and the children it produces. It seems that everyone knows someone who was homeschooled and they are the weirdest person they ever met and having a terrible time communicating with others.

No one ever talks about the people they meet that have the same issues yet were public schooled. I dare say there are more of these people out there than the entire population of homeschoolers.

There are weird people everywhere. There are terrible communicators everywhere - who are not weird by the way, they just have a hard time communicating. Perhaps if they are sitting in the neighbor's yard wearing a swim cap and pretending to grill out in the middle of January that would be weird, but I recently threatened to do this and I am a product of the public school system. Ahem.

The great thing about homeschooling is that kids are not forced to be around kids their age, all day, everyday, with limited interaction with those other than their peers.  I have a daughter in public school and she is *obsessed* with fitting in. My homeschoolers, not so much. They are free from the bondage that a large group of their peers will place them in. They don't have to please a bunch of other 9 and 10 year olds to not get made fun of and to fit in. They don't have to change the way the dress, eat, or talk. They are not compelled to fit into a man made mold and instead are free to fit into the mold God gave them. They are free to be them.

They can also relate to kids older and younger than they are. They can have conversations with adults. My 6 year old was at swim class waiting for her older siblings to be done with their practices. I watched her approach an adult woman and carry on quite the conversation. She came to me about 10 minutes later and happily exclaimed, "Mommy! I met a grown up and she is nice." She was thrilled to have made a new friend. I spoke very briefly with the woman afterwards and she complimented Rebekah's manner and cuteness. (She is stinking adorable, if I do say so myself.)
Rebekah was not intimidated or frightened by this adult. She approached her. She learned about life and people in this short conversation. She was not constrained by needing to look "cool" or by the need to please the kids that were there at swim with her.

My kids don't know a ton about pop culture, and maybe that's weird to some, but I am glad. I am glad I don't have to explain certain song lyrics, for a while I did not have to explain twerking - until my public schooler forced me to.  I don't have to explain BDSM to them like I had to with my public schooler (Thank you for nothing 50 Shades of Grey). I am glad I don't have to explain a lot of things and my kids can stay kids for just a while longer.

If any of that is weird and makes them unable to relate to others, then frankly, I will take it.

Free Water Cycle Unit - Short and Simple!

We are getting ready to start a week long event on the water cycle! Each lesson will be super short and use things that I have at home. The kids don't do super well with worksheets and my printer is broken so I made this up to do with them next week. It will be free and easy to teach and yet still get across to them the water cycle and what it is.

Water Cycle Unit
Appropriate for K - 5

Monday - http://www.kidzone.ws/water/  This is an excellent resource to explain the water cycle.
Hands on activity: Fill 3 cups with 1 cup of water. Put one in a sunny window, one in a room away from a window, and another one in the window with a piece of plastic wrap covering it. Have the child(ren) discuss what may happen to the water in the cups.  Ignore the cups until Friday.

Tuesday - Make it rain! http://www.greenkidcrafts.com/make-it-rain/

Wednesday - Solids, Liquids, Gases - Get several ice cubes, let the kids handle them. Ask "What is happening to the ice cube?" (it is melting) Why? (their hands are warming the water up) Explain the ice cube is a solid and the water that is dripping off of it is a liquid. Ask them "How can water be a gas or a vapor?" Have them put all their ice cubes in a pan or a skillet on the stove. Turn the burner on. Observe the heat melt the ice. When the water begins to sizzle off the skillet, point out that the water is now a vapor.

Thursday - Get some books on the water cycle, aquifers, different bodies of water and/or drought from the library and read them. Have the kids write and illustrate their own story on something related to the water cycle. This should be fun, so don't stress over spelling and the like.

Friday - Create a project that demonstrates the water cycle. Pinterest has a lot of great ideas. We are going to do one similar to this one here - https://www.pinterest.com/pin/21532904441032917/
There are a lot of cute ones on paper plates if you have them!

The Freedom to Learn - A Homeschool Benefit

When I was in elementary school, I was always ahead of my peers. I was always the first one finished with all my work - to the point that one time I got in trouble and the teacher accused me of lying in front of the whole class. I learned to slow down, to make mistakes on purpose, and to try not to be noticed. I always scored very high on standardized tests and my mother and teachers had a hard time reconciling my A/B average classwork with my high test scores. I got a lot of talks about not applying myself, but the problem was I was bored and I did not want to be humiliated ever again.

 Somewhere along the line, I learned to play the game. I did just well enough to not get lectured, and just poorly enough that I did not get singled out. I could have learned so much more than I did had teachers believed in me just a bit more.

 Quin, and Micah are all slower learners. Finally, the reading light clicked on in Quin's brain last year (she was 8 and in the 3rd grade). But, she is still struggling somewhat.  However, she is really smart! When she reads, however, this is lost. If I do everything orally with her, it is AMAZING what she can learn and apply but that will not translate into a test right now (another big issue I have with standardized testing). Quin knows what a hypothesis is, can form and test one, and can analyze her results. If I asked her to write it all down, she would not be able to do it.

 With homeschooling, I can be really flexible about this. Even though I sometimes get stressed over her lack of fluency in reading, I know that she will get there if given enough space and time. But in the interim, I can do everything else with her orally. We can listen to books on tape and watch documentaries and talk about all her questions that she tends to ask (mostly in the van!).

 Micah needs everything just so. He needs to be challenged but not to much at once or else he gets frustrated. I am able to give him things in small bites because we have the time to do it that way.

Then there is my youngest child, Rebekah. She learns easily and has fun doing it! My biggest issue with her is that when I am not challenging her enough and she gets really bored. So, we skip through lessons that bore her and don't stop skipping until we reach the lessons she doesn't know yet. Homeschooling gives us this option.

Hopefully, my kids will never experience the issues I did in school. I hope they learn to maximize their potential and then feel the freedom to really own what they are capable of by putting their knowledge to good use. I hope they are never made to feel less than worthy because of what they know or don't know.


 

Finding a Hobby for the Kids

Sometimes, finding ways to wind down and relax can be difficult. After all, we tend to be slaves to our duties and our schedules and looking at things that are not furthering our progress in those states can seem foolish to us. But, we know that downtime is necessary.  Our kids are no different than us; their needs are the same. Kids will show their frustration and their level of how overwhelmed they are by acting out. They act out as a cry for help to organize their feelings and to get out some of their pent up energy and stress. Sometimes we can just send them outside to run around and play. But what do you do when the weather is bad or when going outside is just not an option for whatever reason? They need a hobby!

Hobbies help us to relax in ways that are productive to an extent. They also can help our kids organize their emotions and feelings.  Some kids will naturally develop hobbies - mostly as an extension from something they learned in their school work or what they see their parents engaged in. My goal as a mom in helping my kids find a hobby is to help them find something that is relatively inexpensive and quiet (HA!) No selfish motive there....  **whistles innocently**

My youngest has picked up reading. She loves reading more and more each day. I make an effort to buy her books she likes and desires to read, not just books that I want her to love or read.  See the difference?

My 14 year old loves art and drawing. She can really calm herself if she has access to a sketchpad and some pencils.  She also likes making jewelry and can stay occupied for hours with that.

My 9 year old boy can chill with some legos and coloring books. He also has discovered a love of cooking. I signed him up for some Craftsy classes and he can watch those and follow along very well. Other than a mishap with putting some flour into the bag of sugar, it has been relatively unstressful for me.

That leaves my 10 year old daughter. She would play on a computer 24 hours a day if I let her. This is not okay with me. I want her to develop an interest outside of National Geographic's Animal Jam game. She is a little screen addict.  I want to find her a hobby that she can engage in outside of this game she loves so much. How does one help a child find a hobby? The same way an adult finds a hobby. You look for one!

This means you expose your child to lots of different activities.  I have introduced to her all sorts of needlecrafts, embroidery, crochet, sewing - etc. This means she had free access to everything she needed, including a sewing machine. She was mildly interested in sewing, she made a quilt and then decided she "beat sewing" and her interest waned. So we tried embroidery. She was bored with it. Crochet proved too difficult for her fine motor skills that she possessed at that time. She loved the fish tank for a while and I thought we may be guppy breeders. Thankfully, her interest in that has declined as well. She also has an avid interest in bird watching, but not many birds are landing in our yard right now. She is currently all about everything horses as well but I don't have horses in my back yard.  Cooking is difficult for her as her ADHD and dyslexia really make it hard for her to follow a list of instructions.

It was becoming an arduous task trying to find her something she can use to settle herself. I introduced to her many things that were home based and she was having none of it.

Then, finally a breakthrough. She likes creating stories. She would bring me comics she created about our dog. In her schoolwork she started begging me to give her free writing assignments online where she could type her stories.  She uses all kinds of different fonts and text colors in her writing. Even though it is on a screen, she is able to really express herself in a way that helps her feel successful. She is currently writing a fan fiction story about the My Little Pony, Rainbow Dash. I am going to help her clean it up a bit (i.e. add punctuation like periods) and publish it for her on a fan fiction site. She is thrilled with the idea and is adding to her story pretty much daily. It still involves her looking at a screen but she loves it and it is a good compromise. I am also going to get her a coding game since she is so interested in the computer itself.

The kids having hobbies they can fall back on when mom needs a moment of peace has really helped me and them feel more settled when times are crazy or stressful.

If your kids need a hobby and you don't know where to start, here is a link to a list that can give you some ideas!

Hobbies List

Homeschooling Through Crisis

At first, we thought it was funny.  My husband and I would watch our son start to nod off during car rides. He would seem almost infantile in his struggle to be awake and it was funny to see him nod off and jerk back up.  Then he started doing it at meal time. It was funny then too.  I caught it on video several times with the intent to use it as leverage when he got that first girlfriend.

Then he started napping right after breakfast. Then lunch. Then I could not keep him awake. Initially, I thought he was coming down with something. Then I thought it was a growth spurt. Then I realized that something was wrong. One day I simply could not wake him up. I thought he was unconscious. I very nearly called 911 until I pinched him and the pain stimulation woke him up.

It wasn't funny anymore.  Something else was wrong.  We were back in crisis mode.

I once heard a preacher say that you are either in a crisis, coming out of a crisis, or getting ready for a crisis. I don't know that is overly encouraging but I find it has a lot of truth.

When a homeschooling family is in crisis, they not only have to figure out how to continue their lives but they also have to figure out how to fit school in.  If one child is affected but not the other kids, what do you do about their activities, their schoolwork, etc.  If a parent is affected then how do you deal with a spouse in crisis and take care of the kids' schooling?

Homeschooling during a crisis is about as much fun as peeling your fingernail off.  But, it can be done.

1. Be prepared for crisis (as much as one can be).  I have a chronically ill child. For us, being prepared means having age/grade appropriate worksheet books to turn to when I can not teach a lesson or be "hands on mom"  and for taking in a backpack to doctor's offices. It also means knowing where insurance cards are, always.

2. Have a small cooler washed and ready to use.  When I have a lot of errands or doctor's visits in a day, I pack a cooler with ice, water bottles and some cut up sandwiches for snacks. It helps a lot to be able to feed the kids on the road if necessary.

3. Rethink your extracurriculars - but only temporarily!  When you sign up for things, know how to extricate your child from them and the consequences for doing so. If you must pull your child out, then ask if they can return when things are better.

4. Stick to your normal routine as much as possible.  Your family benefits from routine when everything else seems messy and troubled.  Even now, we all get up at the same time, we do school in the mornings (barring appointments and anything happening that I must be there for), we have lunch, they play and so on.

5. If you have a sick child and he can do something, then make him do something. It keeps them feeling more normal and keeps them from falling farther and farther behind. Don't let them slack unnecessarily on their school work or their chores.

6. Take excellent care of yourself. This is my biggest hurdle. Take time out when possible for you to recharge and regroup. Make sure you give your spouse time out as well. Take time out with each other.

7. When people offer to help, accept it. If they say let me know if there is anything they can do, ask them if they mean that then find something for them to do. Maybe it is helping you catch up on your laundry, making you a couple of freezer meals, picking up a prescription for you, taking your car in for an oil change, etc.

8. Don't be afraid to say no. No is a magical word. It helps you to keep your time free. Don't feel guilty about saying no.

9. Take time off. You can just sit and breathe. Maybe this time is when you all spend days with each other and do nothing but comfort each other. Sometimes, that is just what we need. No pressure of life, just family togetherness.

10. Seek help. If you need help, get it. If you think you need help, get it.  No man is an island and we should not live like one.

Hearing Through the Noise

I get up every morning at 5. My hope is to get my oldest ready for school and onto the school bus and then have some quiet time with my Bible and a cup of coffee.

It rarely works that way. When 6 rolls around my other children start waking up. My 6 year old insists on snuggle time in my lap and my 9 and 10 year old want to be close as well.  We start our homeschool at 9 am. The hours between that are used on getting everyone ready and some light housekeeping and taking my intellectually disabled brother to work.

We do school and have lunch. Then there are chores and I have to finish school with any stragglers. Then my daughter,  my brother, and my husband begin arriving home and it is time to start dinner.

It is hard to find quiet time. I felt I needed quiet time, without distraction not only to be in the Word but to have some time of reflection. I have considered getting up at 4:30. I also need sleep so I haven't done that.

After dinner I try to spend some time with husband or speak with friends on the phone or in person.  There is also another clean up time thrown in and by 8:30, it is bed time. I have tried to go to bed at 8 and snag some quiet time there but often time my dh will decide to go to bed early as well or a child will come to get some mom time.

The days are full and exhausting. How does one recharge and read their Bible,  how does one stay close to God? 

I decided to search Google and Pinterest to see how others handled this.

I found a lot of blogs with pictures of nice journals arranged with equally nice Bibles,  pens and cups of coffee.   But there were no real answers to my dilemma.  I am unwilling to get up earlier,  I am unwilling to send the children away when they come to me for attention,  and I have household duties that I am as obligated to meet as I am to read the Bible. 

Then the answer came to me. My issue is not one of quiet but it is an issue of hearing through the noise.  So here is my plan:

1. Keep an attitude of prayer and open communication with God. Just knowing that He is always available to listen helps me to pray, even when loading the dishwasher.

2. Make the time I do have in the Word count. So often we pick up our Bibles with no real plan and waste time trying to find a passage that "speaks to us". The entire thing was written for us so it all speaks to us.  I have decided to reread the book of Proverbs and John. 

3.  Don't wait for silence and look for opportunity. My house is busy. There are a lot of people who live in it. It is never really quiet. This means that I may never have pretty pictures of bibles and coffee but there are worse things than spending time in the word with a child on my lap.

4. Understand this time is short and know God knows my heart.  In no time at all, the children will be grown and I will have more quiet than I can stand.

We serve a God of grace.  He is the one who gave me these guys along with the intense desire and dedication to meet their needs. He gave them to me knowing my life would be full and busy and loud.  I trust the One who gave them to me to also take care of me and to reveal himself to me in ways and times that are good for me.

Time for Reading

When new parents think about homeschooling, most of the time our minds go immediately to “Can I teach someone how to read?” We don’t typically think, how do I teach my child to add or how do I teach my child about how to tie their shoes?

Teaching a child to read is for sure an overwhelming thought. The process seems a bit strange and abstract. So we start by teaching our child the alphabet, generally around the age of three. We sing songs and play games and buy videos and apps for our kids to watch and play to encourage reading.

When the child officially starts kindergarten, we jump right into whatever book we have chosen to help propel our child into literacy. Then it happens. The child only offers a blank stare at the proposition that letters are more than songs and things on a fun app. A stands for more than apple.
They don’t get it.

So we search the internet about teaching a child to read, ask all our homeschooling friends, and all the teachers we know about the process of teaching a child to read. Then we gather those suggestions, our own research and we form our own theory about how it should work and why it isn’t.  The next step is finding a curriculum that closely resembles the theory we have come up with and the method that addresses whatever we believe the problem is.

We eagerly, with new hope and a bright shiny attitude, offer the proposed curriculum to the child. The child sees more of what confuses him in the first place. A stands for more than Apple. All the letters look different from each other. They all make sounds and are not consistent in their sounds. The instructions have a lot of words that look like a foreign language. The child is being called upon to deal with more than just one letter, one sound at a time and is now being told those sounds go together to form words. The problem is there are so many sounds and they all have to be memorized and then sounded out in a particular order and his parent is looking at him with a wistful longingness that is shadowed by a hint of desperation. He is confused and his self esteem takes a hit.

The parent sees that the child is struggling and apparently not comprehending. The parent’s self esteem takes a hit. Maybe they are not cut out for homeschooling. Maybe they were silly to think they could homeschool to begin with. Maybe someone else could do it better.  Maybe it is the curriculum.  So, they buy another curriculum (maybe there is something different about this one) or hire a tutor or put the child in a brick and mortar school. Maybe the parent will have the child tested.

The real problem?  A always stands for more than Apple, folks. The process of blending is essentially the same and there will always be sight words. The real issue is typically the child and their readiness to read.

The Common Core State Standards are not the only things that have decided a child should read by first grade. So have a lot of parents.  

The wonderful thing about homeschooling is that children can truly learn at their own pace. If they are not ready to read or are really struggling, we can set it aside or back up to a place where the child is mostly comfortable. Instead I find we as parents tend to judge our ability to homeschool and sometimes our ability to parent based on our child’s ability to read. And then the parent continues to push the child towards something they are not ready to do. This is not okay. Your child’s value and success as a student is not based on his or her reading ability. Your capability as a parent is not measured by your child’s reading ability.

I encourage you to take a breather. If your child is struggling, take a break. Skip reading lessons for a while. Read with your child or listen to audio books together. Skip school and play. Give your child time to mature a bit.

I have taught four children to read. My three older children all struggled. Their lack of ability made me question my own worth as a mother. But we persisted and worked in spurts. If they struggled and if there were tears and/attitude, we simply stopped. Eventually, there was enough starting and stopping that one day we started again and we did not have to stop. They were all around 9 when this happened for them. My youngest learned to read at lightening speed. She was reading at age 4! I am not even sure I taught her, it seemed to have just happened!  

So, parents, give yourselves and your kids time. Remember childhood is about learning and play and figuring out the world and how it works.

The Birth I Didn't Want Until I Realized It Was A Miracle

  My son was going to be my birth redemption. Not only was he my Rainbow Baby (baby after miscarriage or still birth. In my case a m/c), but I was bound and determined to have a VBAC. I am a big believer in doing things as naturally as possible but at the time I was militant. You could have called me a VBACtivist. I was convinced that my previous two births had been disasters. Despite the fact that all of my children were miracles even beyond the normal scope of how

miraculous having children is, I was convinced by others and by myself that the doctors had failed me. That I had failed. They had ripped me of the true birth experience and that I was somehow incomplete because of this.

 As soon as that stick turned pink, I started planning. I researched birth plans. I told my husband what I wanted as far as pain medication and made him swear that he would stand by my side. I knew I couldn't use a mid-wife because of my high risk history, but by golly I was going to have the birth I wanted and I was willing to stomp my feet to get it. I told my doctor early in and got irritated when he told me he would allow me to try but we needed to prepare for the possibility that it likely would end up in a c-section again. My militant friends encouraged me to stand my ground.

Yes, yes I am drugged but look at that sweet big sister!

I think this is a good place to tell you a bit about me and my reproductive system. My husband and I had infertility issues. When we went through the process of being examined it was descovered that I have a unicornuate uterus. This is a fairly rare uterine abnormality. So much so that my doctor told me he had never seen anything like it and asked me if I would be ok with interns and residents working with him for learning purposes. On top of my physical issues my husband had count issues. Statistically speaking, we should not have children and we were told that by many doctors. My first pregnancy was a shock. The fact that I have had 3 others is undeniably God's grace.  Because of my smaller than normal uterus, I was very prone to pre-term labor and fought long and hard to hold my babies in. Again, but for the grace of God, my babies all made it to 34-36 weeks. We had bumps but over all my babies here on earth are healthy. My first daughter was born vaginally with an epidural, but my second was breech and because of the nature of my uterus there was no turning her, especially as I went into pre-term labor at 36 weeks. She was taken by c-section.

This brings us to the story above. My son, began to make his arrival at 34 weeks. After more terbutaline shots than I care to remember we resigned ourselves to delivery that day. At this point I was still determined to VBAC. At my first ultrasound the tech noticed that he was slight transverse. In a woman with a normal uterus, this isn't a huge deal. The statistic I looked up gave me about a 2% chance of rupture. A 98% success rate isn't bad so I would have risked it, but I wasn't normal. Because my condition means I have a weak uterine wall on the side that didn't develop and I had already had a cesarean which further weakened the wall, my son's head was putting enormous amounts of pressure and stretching my uterine wall insanely thin every time I had a contraction. My uterus was an "if" it was a "when" The decision was made. I would fail. I would have a c-section.

 I spent the next several months secretly hating myself for not following through. I looked for reasons why my doctor would want to trick me into a VBAC. I villianized him for not supporting me more. As time passed, I thought less and less about it, but it still nagged at me every time a friend posted an article about the horrors of hospital birth, or posted about how they were so thankful they didn't have to use a doctor and each time it stabbed that little part of my heart. And then one day I stopped, I looked at my son and I kicked myself. My birth experiences were not failures. I was not a failure. My doctors were not out to get me. They were placed there in my life by the same grace that led to my the conception of my miracles. My doctors were part of my miracle. Instead of looking at my experience as a failure I started looking at it as an amazing work of God. I could have been born in a different century without our modern technology and my oldest would have surely died. I could have insisted on the VBAC and both my son and I could have died, but we listened to the wisdom of God through our medical team and instead of a tragedy we experienced more grace. MY BIRTH EXPERIENCE INVOLVED A HOSPITAL, DOCTORS AND A C-SECTION AND WAS STILL A MIRACLE!

My c-section miracle

So mama whose birth wasn't perfect. YES IT WAS. It may not have been easy, it may not have been what you hoped for, but it wasn't the failure that the VBACtivist movement wants to make it out to be. It was the grace of God that allowed you to get pregnant, it was the grace of God that sustained that pregnancy and it was the grace of God who put those doctors in your path. Your experience is a miracle and if anyone tries to tell you it wasn't, then they are the ones that are wrong, not you.


Of course, there were some decisions I would have made differently had I been older, wiser, and more experienced, but I wasn't. I was a young mother, going through a difficult pregnancy and dealing with premature labor. I am also not a fan of elective c-sections and induction. God has provided us some wonderful ways to welcome our babies into the world. For some that will include a midwife, a big bathtub and a room full of supporters, for others it will be a hospital an epidural and a c-section, but make no mistake, God is both the author of natural medicine and modern medicine!




 

To the Mom Who

There are a *lot* of "To the Mom Who" posts on blogs lately. To the Mom Who Works, To the Mom Who Stays at Home, To the Mom on her iPhone, To the Mom that Put Her Phone Away, To the Mom the had the Nervous Break Down and Pretended to Bake a Cake in the Middle of Walmart....  These posts are everywhere. People seem to love them. No longer do we have to worry that we are insufficient, over protective, too fat or thin, have too many kids or too few kids. We don't have to worry about what people will think or even what we will think of ourselves. There is a blog post out there to tell us it is okay that we left the kid in the car for a second or that we have never, ever, and will never ever let our kids out of our sight. Validation - it is everywhere.

I think its getting ridiculous.  Sometimes the validation of others comes in really, really handy. But we have cheapened it to the point that now every action is okay and excused. Feel free to feel great about yourself after you yell at little Johnny. After all, you were stressed and angry and we understand. We who are on the interwebs know nothing about you but we know you are a great mom. The internet mommy bloggers are here for you, to take away your guilt, your burdens, and your own self governance.

Why do we need validation? Is it to assuage our guilt for a mistake we have made? Is it permission to be lazy? Do we need the consent of others to make parenting choices that are right for our own family? Is it a way to circumvent getting the blessing of our spouses for a decision on which we may disagree?

The need for validation is a real thing. Feeling like we are making a difference in the life of a child and our family is important to keep us going. It is like a bit of extra fuel for our busy life. But, all the pats on the back in the world are not going to truly fill the void we feel when we are not meeting our own standards or when our spouses or our children fail to recognize us for our contributions or when we truly screw up.  Perhaps there is too much of a good thing here.

Too much validation can prevent us from making necessary changes. That guilt you feel after you make a parenting screw up? (Like when I snapped at my kid for asking me a math question when I was clearly busy writing this blog post...) It is there to tell you that you did the wrong thing. You have to rethink your behavior and make a change. That involved me apologizing to my kid. He was told to do his math. He had a question - it doesn't matter if I think it is a silly one. He needed my time and I snapped at him because he was encroaching on my time.  Do I need a mommy blogger to tell me that was okay? Nope. It was not okay. I only needed to pay attention to my own guilt for snapping at him.

Feel badly about how clean or unclean your house is? Instead of looking for someone to tell you it is okay, ask yourself why you feel the way you do. Why do you feel guilty? Is the Holy Spirit trying to tell you that you need to do better? Or is it an irrational expectation - which only you can change? Either way, validation is not what you need. You need to follow through on the emotions you are feeling and deal with them appropriately.  Maybe that is confession and repentance.

We feel like failures because we 1. failed or 2. have higher expectations than necessary. If you failed, deal with it and make things better if you can and apologize if you can't. But then move on. If your expectations are higher than God's - deal with it. That is pride. Maybe you just need a big cup of suck it up instead of validation.

Be wary of the need for validation, particularly when we are looking to excuse sin, poor behavior and bad choices in the name of "everyone else does it". Furthermore, Romans 8:1 already tells us that there is no condemnation to those which are in Christ. And really, that is the only validation we truly need.

What Downsizing and Moving to the Country has Taught Us

From as long as I can remember after the children were born, I had this dream; we would move out to the country, have land and animals. We would plant gardens and raise our own food. I would own chickens and collect fresh eggs every day. My kids would run wild in the pastures, free to get dirty, and free to yell and play. We would escape the wild hectic life of living in suburbia. We would escape the clutches of home ownership debt. We would free ourselves from the oversized house that by nature of it's size kept us so far apart from each other. We would live free. Free to make memories and spend time together, free to enroll our children in whatever pursuits they desired since we would no longer be house poor. Free from the anxiety of "what if" my husband lost his job, or we had a major medical expense or whatever. We have learned so much in this past two years. Some of it great, some of it not so great.

We have learned that we can live with less. Not only can we live with less, but we don't really miss what we no longer have. There might be a few things here and there, but cutting down from 3,200 sq ft to 1,700 will really make you take stock in what things are important. Not only did we have to get rid of some things we already owned, we had to stop buying so much. Christmases, and birthdays are now about a few really special high quality things and family experiences than about one million cheap things. I like it.

We have learned how to live in smaller spaces. Let's be honest, in a house the size of ours you aren't ever going to be more than a few steps away from someone. On top of that, the girls are sharing a very small room. Having a large back yard has definitely been helpful, but there are things that have been harder to adjust to. I really miss having a dedicated school space. We have a room, but the size makes it difficult to keep it clean and organized and so many times we just end up in the dining room. My husband misses his office where he could keep all of his vintage computers displayed and his electronics in whatever order he pleased. I miss the kids being able to keep their toys in one room and their sleeping arrangements in another. I miss my living room having no TV because it is in the entertainment room.I miss my house looking clean even if there were a few things strewn about. There are also things I love. My small kitchen means that from anywhere in the room I can be one step way from the stove, the fridge, and the sink all at one time and even when my house it at its messiest, it rarely takes more than a few hours to clean from top to bottom!

We have learned that people are going to judge us. Friends, family, strangers, we have gotten it from everywhere. There are those who don't understand why we sold our big beautiful house to move to this small one. There are those who judge the location. There are those who judge how we chose to go about getting out of debt. There are those who took our moving as a sign that we were in debt and had to sell. There are also those who have supported us and even those who have lived vicariously through us. There are others who are working towards doing the same things we are doing. We have just had to learn that no matter what life decisions we make, someone is always going to have their two cents.

I have learned that I need to be around people. I am extroverted. I gain my energy from being around people. Not necessarily with my house full of people but just near them. It makes me feel good to know that I can get up, walk a few feet in any direction and find a person. I know not everyone is like that, but I am. I miss being able to call up a friend and visit. I miss being able to "run down to the store". Everything is such a massive undertaking here. No one wants to visit us here and because of the children's activities I rarely have the energy to drive to them.

We have learned that living in the country is not as cheap as you would think. Overall the move has been good for us financially, but it has not been as big as we had hoped. Price of propane are off the wall and the first winter we were here we didn't quite realize how fast we would go through it. Let's just say we learned to love our winter clothes and the fireplace after that little experience. Also, because everything is so far away we spend quite a bit on gas.

We have learned that we are not country people. This is the hardest one to admit. This was my dream. Yeah, I romanticized it a bit. I was naive, but many many families do what we have done and love it. I had lived doors down for over 10 years before I got married. I knew what things were like and I didn't mind it growing up. We went into the decision informed and felt good about it. We hate that we dislike it, but we have come to terms with the fact that our lifestyle just doesn't suit it. We want our children to be able to participate in activities they enjoy, but where we are means that we are constantly traveling or sitting at those activities. I sit for 3 hours 3 days per week at the gym with my other two children while my younger daughter does gymnastics. Why? Because she loves it and the drive to and from our house is too far to allow me to go home during the practice. I know what you are thinking, but our children enjoy their activities enough that we have decided to prioritize them. Besides my own drives, my husband is driving 1.5 hours to and from work each day and it is exhausting him. We have learned that this time is going to be seasonal for us because of our busy lifestyle.

We have had to learn to be joyful even when we weren't necessarily happy. We are wildly aware of how blessed we are, truly. We have often reminded each other on our rough days that not only are we safe, in a good home, surrounded by family that is healthy, have a stable income and free to do many extra activities, but that we actually chose to be here. When we step back and really look we are able to at the very least experience joy even when we were not necessarily happy.


Here we sit two years in and while I sit in the sunshine watching my children do exactly what I described above and loving it, I can't help but contemplate whether this adventure turned out like we had hoped. If nothing else we have had to really take a step back and look at ourselves. We have found some amazing parts of us that we really enjoy, but in honesty there have been some parts that have not been as they should. The experience has been one of growth and even though this isn't looking like a forever home, I am not sure I would have changed if I could.

But I Can't be with My Children All Day Long Every Day!

  I have heard it too many times, "I could never be with my children all day", "My child fights me while doing homework there is no way I could teach them all day", and every variation of the two you can imagine.

  At first the statement confused me. I have never been away from my children so I have no experience with what it is like to have several hours a day, several days a week without them. I wondered what made us and all of the other homeschoolers I know different. I wondered why suddenly at 5 parents no longer wanted to be around their children for long periods at a time when quite a few of them had just spent the last 4 years being there.

 Most homeschooling parents who pull their children out of the government school system or even a private school struggle with the idea of being together all the time and don't get me wrong, there is some major togetherness that happens with homeschool. Sometimes that togetherness causes conflict, but overwhelmingly it is a joyful experience for most homeschooling families. So what is going on here?

First, it is normal. This one won't go for all families, but my own, having homechooled since the beginning of my children's formal education, just doesn't know any different. My kids did not suddenly become a separate part of me at 5 and so when 6, 7, and rolled around, we just carried on as usual. This is normal for us.

For those that pull out of the system, there is usually an adjustment time and maybe even a bit of de-schooling, but in general, homeschooling is such a natural extension of parenting and life that it takes no time at all for it to become normal.



Second, I am the one teaching my children how to behave. When children are thrown in with other children we get to witness a real life "Lord of the Flies" with kids fighting for top spot in the pecking order. There will be children who reach the top, there will be children in the middle and there will be children trampled on by the school yard hierarchy. The kids will be teaching each other how to behave and that is never a good thing. My children are pleasant to be around because their main influences for proper behavior are adults. My kids don't bully, don't care about who has the coolest clothes, don't make fun of those different from themselves, aren't disrespectful to adults or mean to those not popular. Why? Not because they are perfect, but because I am able to constantly train them on appropriate behavior. Because they are not in the everyone for himself world of the classroom. Because they are interacting extensively with adults who have (for the most part) learned how to behave! The Bible tells us that the heart of a child is foolish so imagine sticking 25 of those foolish hearts into a room and expecting the result to be well behaved children. It just isn't going to happen.

Thirdly, they don't have to bring school work home after putting in a full day at the school. I mean seriously, who wants to spend all day long doing school work and then have to do more when they get home? Where is the time to play and relax? If you have to bring work home do you not complain? Does it not sometimes make you cranky? Comparing homework to homeschooling is like comparing a day at the beach to a day doing hard physical labor. They are just not the same. My kids get to do school when they are refreshed and then they get to be done. There is no working for 7 hours and then bringing home another 3-4 hours worth of homework. I would complain about that too!

Last, because they aren't constantly exhausted. None of these parents seem to take into account the chronic sleep deprivation that kids suffer from these days. A quick Google search will bring up any number of articles on the taxing schedules that traditionally schooled children carry. If my kids were up at 5:30am to catch the bus, spending large amounts of the day sitting, then coming home with homework plus having sports practices until 9pm or later only to get up and do it all again tomorrow, they would be cranky too. Because my children are well rested and get plenty of time to break during the day, they generally stay in good moods and are much more pleasant to be around.

This is not to say my children are angels. They are not. We have had plenty of days when I would have almost considered putting their sassy hineys on that big yellow box on wheels, but I know that once I calmed down, I would be chasing it down and bringing them back home.

10 Day Real Food Challenge Day 2

   So I spend a good majority of my day busting on Jessica about her eating habits, then I tell her ask her every so sweetly to do challenges with me. The truth is skinny doesn't equal healthy and I have plenty of my own unhealthy habits I am wrestling with. My major one being Dr. Pepper and the truth is, I am highly unlikely to make it the entire challenge without one. I am hoping that I can start weening myself off of them and that at the very least, they can become the rare treat rather than my go to comfort food (or drink if you want be difficult).

  Unlike my dear friend, I knew straight up that I needed the easy way out or I just wouldn't follow through. We are out too often for me to be cooking up my own tortillas. One step at a time, right? So I hit up our local Kroger, which happens to be pretty spectacular and managed to find most of the items on the shopping list; including the whole grain sandwich bread, tortillas and pitas. They aren't the perfect solution, but they are a good start.

I did make up the breakfast foods from scratch and while we are following the recipes given, I told my kids they could pretty much pick from what I made for breakfasts. We ate the whole-wheat honey sweetened waffles yesterday and today we are having whole-wheat muffins, honeydew melon and raw milk yogurt. The yogurt isn't on the menu plan but I feel it is important to have and it is what I add our probiotics to. Plus, it is just yum. Also made up is some granola cereal. We will try that tomorrow. The kids can either pour it with milk like traditional cereal or they can mix it into their yogurt parfait style. Today's snacks will be finishing off the honeydew melon and dried apricots. While I love her menu plan, because I have very active children (and my gymnast requires about 3,000 calories per day) and we need a bit more food than what she has in the plan. Easy to adjust that though!

We followed up by having chicken enchiladas for lunch. The recipe called for a tomato based sauce but I knew from experience I would want a white sauce. Now, if I had been a good little whole foodie, I would have cooked my own chicken, but since I purchased the chicken already cooked I didn't have broth. Turns out white wine can be substituted for chicken broth in this case and I had that. Go figure. The sauce was a little...winey (?) so I would cut back on that next time, but over all it was delish and I had so much left over that I reheated it for dinner and still have some for lunch tomorrow. My husband whom I love dearly, but is the world's pickiest eater got some hand breaded cod which I flash fried in olive oil and then baked. He said it was the best dinner he has ever had. I think he might have been exaggerating, but when you have a picky eater you take the compliments where you can get them.


PS. I will be going back and adding recipe links in all of the Real Food Challenge Posts.

10 Days of Real Food Days 3-5

The hardest part of this challenge has been how to work it into my "real" life.  The theory is awesome, make everything from scratch as much as you can and your family will be better for it.
I actually agree. :)

The problem is life has a way of throwing you curve balls and when you are expecting regular fast balls, it can really throw you for a loop.

Anna wrote a blog post about her day 2, which she may or may not get around to publishing - she wants it to have pictures and links and stuff that I rarely make time for. hehe...  Probably why her posts get read at a higher rate than mine. hmmm... So, I will just skip ahead and tell you about my 3rd and 4th days.

Day 3,  I had used homeschool curriculum sale to attend in the morning. We whole wheat muffins that morning and the kids LOVED them. I just made them with a bit of extra cinnamon and nutmeg and bit more honey since I did not feel like chopping an apple up for the them.  The plan for lunch was to have peanut butter and homemade jelly for lunch. I even had the loaves of bread baked.

While we were at the sale, we got a flood of rain. Literally. A flood.  If I had an ark, I could have made it home, but because of the amount of rain, I knew that the 2 ways to get to my house were all going to be flooded. This is not my first time with this amount of rain. So I was *forced* to go wait for the waters to recede at one of our local mexican restaurants.  It was like I was being held hostage or something. It was terrible to think about having to sit there with my chips and salsa and fajitas while that peanut butter and jelly was just waiting for me at home.  I am sure you can feel my pain there.  

Wednesday, my son came down with a fever.  It was 103.2 at its highest.  He was in bed all day and when he finally woke up hungry, he asked for a grilled cheese. I had one lone piece of processed american cheese in the fridge so I slapped that on two pieces of my home made wheat bread with butter and made him a grilled cheese.  He had 3 bites, but he was the only one to eat anything processed that day.  It was good!

Since I was at home all day, I took the time to finally beat the corn tortillas.  Youtube videos are your friend for that one.  But they really looked beautiful!  I was quite proud of them.  My arms and upper abs were sore the next day from the work out I got while pressing them!  It was a bonus!  Hopefully it counteracted some of the calories from the *fantastic* enchilada's we ate for dinner with them!

Thursday  we had a great breakfast. They had left over waffles with smoothies. My kids loved those smoothies, did not even know I snuck spinach in them!  We had the pb&j's for lunch and did fine until dinner. My brother cooks every Thursday and he did not want to cook what was on the plan and we had tacos (packaged taco seasoning - eek) with white flour tortillas (except me and dh, we ate the left over corn tortillas - they were great) and queso dip out of the jar that you get out of the chip aisle. I know. But, again, I had *no choice* - that is my story.

I have to say, we have liked everything we have eaten so far!

Have any one of you tried to go 10 days without eating out or having something that is processed?  If so, leave a comment telling us how it went!  If you have not, what do you think your biggest hold ups would be?