If You Give a Mom a Few Minutes

If you give a mom a few minutes...

If you give mom a few minutes of peace and quiet, she will probably get a cup of coffee.
While she is drinking her coffee, she will probably pick up her laptop and check her email.
She will be looking through her email until she reads one reminding her that she needs a dinner plan.
She will then start doing recipe searches based on the few ingredients one generally has after refusing to go grocery shopping for several weeks.
While searching for recipes, she will realize all the meat in the house is frozen, thereby leading her brain down the path of 'freezer cooking.'
So, in an effort to find a complete plan, she will start googling such terms as; once a month cooking, bulk cooking, and freezer cooking. 
She will find a plan and decide to print it all out.
While printing, the printer will run out of paper, so the mom goes to the usual spot the paper is kept.
She will find the paper missing.  While silently berating her organizational skills, she will go purge every last stack of paper and magazines in the desk.
When she finally decides that she is out of printer paper, and is having a discussion with herself about whether or not the plan can be printed on construction paper, her 11 year old artist will finally tell her what she did with the paper and the current location of what is left of it.
She will reload the paper in the printer.
After the printing is completed, she will take the grocery lists and look through all the cabinets, refrigerator, freezers, and the pantry and mark off the ingredients she already has.
While doing so, the children will think she is in the kitchen for the sole purpose of making them a snack.  The mom will see that it is 11:30 in the afternoon and tell all the children that lunch is on the way. 
The two year old will misinterpret this to mean that pizza will be delivered shortly, and announce with glee and sheer delight that she "loves pidda!"
The mom will notice the look of dismay the two year old gives the peanut butter sandwich. Which will remind the mom that grocery shopping does have to occur somewhere in the near future. 
The mom will tell the dad that she is going to the supermarket and leaving all the children with him.
Then she drives to the nearest Starbucks, and has a cup of coffee.